Some of my best buddies were ushers when I was growing up. In those days they all wore suits and ties (Approved Presbyterian Dress Code). Some had mustaches, some looked like their shoes didn't match the rest of their clothes, but I figured hey, they're grown ups. They must know what they were doing.

Ushers used to let me pass out the hymn books with them; a real thrill for a 9 year old. There were certain ways to walk. Certain ways to talk. Certain ways to get Mrs.. Schultz to sit down in time for the sermon. Certain looks to give Billy McDonald to make him shut up and sit still. They could communicate with almost anyone with a wink of the eye or nod of the head.

Ushers knew everything. They knew where the light switches were. They knew where the brooms were kept. They knew who was really a Christian and who wasn't. They knew who snuck out early for the ball games. They knew who's kids were the trouble makers. They knew where the communion grape juice was kept. They had a key to the men's room. They knew everything.

They also knew the pastor. It was nothing for them to go up front during the sermon and hand the pastor a note. I'm sure it violated some 'non-disturbance' law in the Bible, but when Johnny needed his mom to come get him in Sunday school because he just put playdough in Suzi Johnson's hair, well it just had to be done.

The ushers were also very versatile. John Jones was not only the head usher, but he was also my 4th grade Sunday School teacher. John wasn't very much fun in class, but then, he was supposed to pass on the depth of the gospel in 20 minutes to 4th graders who barely knew he was even talking, a tough crowd for anyone.

And when Saturday 'work day' came along, you knew all the ushers would be there. Most of them with sensible work shoes on, lots of cool tools, and smiles for the kids.

Now days, however, we have a generation of ushers who don't care to make a living as an usher. It's just a 'Sunday job' to these guys. It's sad. Plus sometimes there's not enough to go around. The head ushers often drag people in off the parking lot and say 'today, you will be an usher'. Smart people don't wear a suit and tie to church, thereby passing up ANY opportunity in most churches, forced or otherwise, to be an usher.

When I was a child, I always wondered why women weren't ushers. There really wasn't anything my Sunday School teacher would say about it, except that I would find out when I was old enough to understand. Well, now I'm old enough to understand, and I still don't understand. Women could do a much better job of ushering, and we'd all have a blast at the same time. Men ushers would give an icy stare when you put a crumpled dollar bill in the offering plate. Women wouldn't do that.

It would be wonderful. I wonder if Jesus would consider being an usher if He were here in the flesh today? Lord knows we need a few good men.